POEM: Someone Ought To

Posted by in Poetry, Poetry, Ten Minutes, Writing

After years of
pretending
for what, I don’t know

I was openly unhappy
spoke frankly of how
the pleasure had gone

last night I stopped you
I said,
I’m just too much
in my head

And you stopped
to show concern:

what do you need from me?
how can I get you out of
your head?

Your eyes
so eager
I thought:

they promise sincerity
and

I felt awkward
after all
you looked silly, really
so I laughed
but my face was clearly
tortured
disturbed
I did not

want

to continue

But you keep trying
touching
kissing
talking
until finally
without a word
you flipped me over
and finished it.

You didn’t ask me how I was
after
how I was doing
so in my head
I felt myself the fool
pretending
for so long
thinking:

I might be embarrassed
by your concern
Or hurt your confidence,
as I had done to men
in the past.

But the concern was
only a means to an end
and I tried hard to think:
It’s hard for them see clearly
like that
all the blood rushing from
their hearts
to their
well…
It’s all still so full of love
as you’ve promised a thousand times
but those stories I’ve told myself
you’ve told me
dissolved so quickly:

you love
he loves
you’ve l o v e d
it’s  l o  v   i   n   g

Just yesterday,
we spoke of 20 years!
I quipped negatively
as I often do:

Do you think we’ll make it
to a decade?

As long as you don’t
leave when you say
you’re going to,

you say.

we laughed.

 

Someone
ought to keep their word.