Fireside Chat: The (Lack of a) Space for Writing
There has been a lull in my writing, even the Motherhood Project posts, which is unfortunate since I had such momentum in the beginning. There is a reason, however. Aside from the usual and very valid excuses, such as kids, appointments, illness, the chaos of home life taking over my personal life, etc… there’s a more concrete reason this time.
The lack of a space to write.
I know, for some people they can write anywhere (ok, I assume, I don’t actually know ANYONE who says that) but for me, a dedicated writing space makes all the difference. I have been trying for weeks to set aside a space (in my room) just for my writing, a desk, a laptop, a place to set down my chai, and books, lots of books. The idea was that I’d get up each morning and sit at the desk, in the coveted quiet of the morning, and write. No matter how small or short… I’d get up and write something.
That was the idea at least.
The problem began when the laptop I’d tried to refurbish (after my children’ prolonged destruction of it) just wasn’t working out. Then my room got messier and messier. Then my To-Do list grew and grew, and as always, my writing took a back seat yet again. I tried to write in my (business) office, but it is utter chaos and not conducive to reflective thought. I tried outdoors, and even went to great lengths to make a nice secluded space (after the distraction of my impromptu decision to build my children a club house… which I did, with excruciating soreness to follow. Then the realization that I need to get on my gardening, build my boxes, order my seeds, plan the boxes, clean up the yard, shop for supplies, etc…. which I am STILL in the process of doing). Yes, many many things pulled me away from my personal commitment to my craft. But the number one thing has been, I just don’t have anywhere quiet and comfortable to write.
So today, on my 25 item To-Do list is: Clean my room. I have acquired an alternative to the laptop (an awesome little keyboard and mouse for my tablet, which I am using right now), which I will do a little “Writer’s Gear” review on… because you simply MUST get them, so awesome! And I am taking the moment, mid-breakfast to write this post. Which is a start. So why is a space to write so important?
Well, we’ll get into that in the next post, and we’ll talk more about the elements of a good space, must-have tools, options for the space-challenged, and I’ll share a bit of my personal experience and perhaps a few pics of my space if I ever get it together. I’d love to hear more about your (non)space, as well! Does the lack of an ideal space for your writing keep you from your craft? What works and doesn’t work for you? Where do you usually get your inspiration, and/or where do you usually write?
Looking forward to hearing from you all, can’t wait to get my own space together to share. Til then… thanks, as always, for reading, folks. See you by the fireside.
{This is a part of the fireside chat series. Casual conversations amongst writers about writing.}
I can understand your want for a quiet, comfy, safe space to write. I’d love that. But for me, it simply does not exist. I’m not really comfy clicking away at my laptop while I sit straight up in this dining room chair, but that’s where I am. And lots of times my kids are right at my ear nagging/whining/needing something. I’ve learned that, with regards to my writing, I must ‘train.’ If this were football (and by that I mean soccer), for example, our couch wouldn’t sit by and let us focus simply on kicking with our dominant foot; she would train us to use that other foot as well. And she would focus on it, until we could almost score with it as with our dominant foot. I think it’s the same with our writing; we have to train ourselves to stretch our limits, our expectations of ourselves, our…word count 🙂
I love the idea of training to work in any environment… I don’t think it’s possible for every writer all the time, but it probably is for many. What tips or advice do you have for those who struggle to write in less than ideal conditions?
For me, I can write blog posts with seven children running about, the tv blaring, and a toddler tugging at my foot, and I can even write almost anything in just about any environment when that passion and inspiration hits… but writing without that surge of ideas and energy, crafting short stories, essays and poetry as a daily practice, when I have to drag the content out of me, line by painstaking line… that requires real quiet and real concentration. That I cannot do with seven children swirling around me, asking me to resolve some conflict, explain why the earth rotates, help with this hair tie, talk to me non-stop about minecraft mods, climb into my lap so I watch her jump off, and the hubby wanting to ‘chat’ about basketball scores, lol… that one takes nerves of steel and Im working with nerves of noodles over here, lol.
I dont work well with children running around me, vying for my attention… and I don’t think I should have to. Being a mom of seven, I feel like I not only ‘need’ a dedicated space for my craft, I ‘should’ be afforded one. I know its not possible for everyone, its not even possible for me sometimes, but in an effort to really take my writing seriously, and to ensure my family does as well, that space and time is important for me, practically, psychologically and emotionally. Whether its sitting on a stool at the kitchen island, typing in the bathroom or on the back porch, or having a complete room dedicated as a writing area, for me… there must be some space (and time!) that tells me: this is the time to write, don’t get distracted. And tells my family: mommy is writing, go ask your dad, lol. But I’ll talk more about that in the next post.
I love that you have developed such flexibility, sis, and I’d love to hear more about it… I think I could use some flexibility as well (don’t we always when we have toddlers? LOL). What advice do you have for those times when quiet and solitude are just not a possibility? How can I ‘train’ myself to write the hard way?
Thanks so much for joining in on the discussion. I love the way chatting with other writers expands our horizons and helps us all grow in our craft.
Oh, I so agree with you!!! our pains..I mean loved ones.:) ..SHOULD leave us the space and time to think, concentrate, and let those ideas flow. I didn’t really mean that ‘training’ should replace our comfort zone, but rather, if you do get that epiphany, I’m all for total neglect…I mean ignoring…I mean simply tuning them out for as long as it takes you to do what you have to do. I think sometimes that training comes despite ourselves; for me I don’t really have any other place to work but here–in the dining area, which is the heart of my home. And usually I’m the only adult with the kids, so there is no one else the kids can annoy…I mean, ask. I try to do most of my writing when they’re asleep, but sometimes I simply sit here, ignoring, trying to tune it all out, trying to concentrate. Just jumping in there, forcing yourself to do it despite the distractions, forcing them to figure out that you’re doing something important and they should wait to bug you…i mean ask you, until you’re done. May Allah grant us halal fulfillment from our craft, stretch our imaginations, grant us eloquence with words. And May He bless our children, keep them always happy, healthy…and teach them to leave us alone when we need that time to ourselves!
Hahahahaha!!! Your post had me cracking up, lol. I love the honesty, er um, corrections, lol. Yes, you took the words right out of my mouth. Ameen to your wonderful dua! In an ideal world, they’d respect our need for personal time and space, and simply let us write. But children (and husbands some time) have no true concept of personal space when it comes to moms. Hence all the meems of FB with little hands reaching in under the bathroom door, lol. There is no escape most of the time and we must, indeed, force ourselves to tune it out. Ive AMAZINGLY discovered this new space in the kitchen since yesterday morning, when the house is quiet and I can sit here and right child-free. Its amazing and Im loving it. Ideally, Id be in my room at my desk, but because my toddler still sleeps with us, typing in there is a sure fire way to disturb her slumber and ruin this blessed quiet I am indulging in, lol.
Loving this dialogue. 🙂 What kind of writing do you do, sis? Have you been participating in the Motherhood Project?