I wake up and want to write. Pull on my favorite gray sweater Brew a cup of coffee Settle into the dirty couch. There are so many ideas Thoughts running through my head And I tiptoe across the keyboard Hoping to keep the house quiet. I recount dreams Blog, Edit, Repost. Type without much thought Building habits in the quiet. But gradually children wake up As I knew they would And I try to give the sense that I don’t want to be bothered today Today I am writing, children….read more
Too cold outside today to type, so I did a video post for the #tenminute challenge instead. My first every video post, so bear with me. Today’s Morning Thoughts are about Finding Your Writing Sweet Spot, Writing with Children, Ten Minute Commitments and other ponderings. Hope you find some gems in there. Enjoy! #tenminutes Part of the Ten Minutes series… A challenge to write for ten minutes everyday, no matter what. Learn more… Join the movement!
This morning I missed a storm I relish storms: the sound, the scent The threatening roll of thunder The cool comfort in sheets of rain I didnt even glance out through the glass Instead, I sat, sinking down in the couch, consumed with setting passwords internet monitoring, time curfews gaming restrictions I sat trying to be a better mother Keep my kids on task Monitor their screen time Keep them focused on whats important in life I sat for hours setting up these computers, then hours more helping them with…read more
The accident wasn’t her fault, not directly, but she knew they’d say it was. She had been unstable for a long time and deep down, everyone was just waiting for her to mess up. Waiting to see how crazy she really was. But Marilyn’s thoughts hadn’t gotten that far yet. Instead, she stood there holding his limp little body and cried, buried her face in his still warm chest, and wept with more emotion, more pain, more agony than shed felt in months. She had been numb for as long…read more
Today I took my daughters to the Y. We stumbled through a Zumba class, then BOSU, then swimming or treadmills… it was tiring, but rewarding, nonetheless. It was my first time exercising at the Y, theirs too… and, at first, I didn’t think much of it. But sitting here now, reflecting, I’ve realized how important these experiences may be for them… for us. We all want this perfect ideal family. We want family meetings and vacations; home-cooked meals and holidays. I want to rarely have to yell (rather than daily),…read more
somewhere beneath the blare of sirens the rumble of traffic intermittent, but always there leaves rustle in a gentle wind and that couple argues in the alleyway. we wake up to the too-loud buzz of the fridge water rattling old pipes planes ripping through the atmosphere we wake up, with resistance our hands still dirty clothes slung on the floor the mattress sunken in but the birds still chirp, hungrily and we hear it, as if for the first time we hear it, as if it weren’t always there. then…read more
I had a relatively difficult childhood. We were poor most of the time, very unstable, moved around a lot, hopping from motel to friends house to shelter to homes of our own, then back again. There were drugs and alcohol and abuse between our parents and child protective services always on our tails. We had a lot to worry about, a lot to be thankful for, and a lot of misconceptions about ‘normal’ life. We had a hard time, but there were others who had it worse, and we knew…read more
There has been a lull in my writing, even the Motherhood Project posts, which is unfortunate since I had such momentum in the beginning. There is a reason, however. Aside from the usual and very valid excuses, such as kids, appointments, illness, the chaos of home life taking over my personal life, etc… there’s a more concrete reason this time. The lack of a space to write. I know, for some people they can write anywhere (ok, I assume, I don’t actually know ANYONE who says that) but for me,…read more
I know they say that, as children grow up and leave, become independent and lead lives of their own, you’ll miss them. The house grows quiet and lonely and you call day after day looking to find your place in their lives. Wanting to be needed and necessary, yearning to kiss the booboos away and solve all their woes with some great parental wisdom acquired through years of suffering and experience. I know they say all that. But I don’t believe it. Not entirely, at least.
There was a moment today when, in the sheer misery that is my own strep throat, body aches and pounding headache, my toddler found herself exhausted, flustered and demanding a cookie (this is the nice way to describe an all out fit). She shrieked and cried and I promptly laid her atop me and sang the only song that calms her. Sure, my tonsils raged in protest, my body ached against the weight of her, but it felt so good to be the one she needed, to be able to…read more