Chorus of Blue

POEM: Istikhaara

Posted by in Poetry, Poetry, Poetry, Writing

I made a prayer for guidance
And signs like meteors
came barreling forth

We sat on the lawn and watched them
light fire to everything
Each hope and near certainty
set ablaze

I saw the ash rise up in the air
like a warning
choked on it
coughed       wept

Then we held hands and laughed

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Free Write: Nothing of Consequence

Posted by in Motherhood Project, Poetry, Ten Minutes, Writing

The sun rises and the cat whines outside
I know his routine, but I choose to write.

There is a very long list of to-dos:
empty accounts, unpaid bills,
the responsibilities of parenthood
looming in soft little breaths
all around me.

Our home creaks for attention,
the subtle jingle of a ceiling fan
I need to fix,
pictures to hang,
that broken drawer…
most the food in boxes because I have yet
to line the cabinets,
sew bench cushions,
polish the floors.

And I know that he wants me,
The one slumbering
in the quiet of our room,
before blood flows like a barrier between us
And his desires are stalemated,
or frustrated
or lost.

But I decide to settle down to write.

Nothing of matter
Nothing of great consequence,
But the practice I will need to make it
matter someday.

The daily watering and reminder:

In your heart,
in your hands
                          is the seed of a writer,

(dishes, laundry, dinner, sex,
carpets, curtains, wall hooks,
plants, orders to fulfill, interest
to avoid, angry emails, lists, lists)

                                            help it grow.

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Poem: Phantom Limb

Posted by in Poetry, Poetry, Ten Minutes, Writing

Betrayal leaves the deepest scar
One we cannot see
Only feel     like a phantom limb
Hanging there invisibly

We stumble over it
Bang it on tables and chairs
Feel the pain radiating up
Through bones and skin

We reach down and
grasp at nothing
but air

All the grand reassurances and promises
Like thin gauze on a festering wound
Healing nothing
Only sticking to the sore

There is no salve for a limb
You cannot see
No bandage
No way to bind the flesh

It is pain that manifests in the body
from the mind
An aching that permeates out
from the heart

And blood flow will keep the memory fresh
pulsing and reminding:

You were betrayed;

You will never    forget.

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Christmas Nostalgia & Other Convert Conundrums

Posted by in Articles & Rants, Motherhood Project, Ten Minutes, Writing

I was blessed to discover and accept Islam when I was 19 years old. Up until that point, I had been a child, lazily exploring different faiths, but for the most part raised Christian. I dabbled in Buddhism, Wicca, Agnosticism, Atheism… I was trying to find my truth… but a sort of backdrop of my somewhat Christian upbringing was always there. (Side note: Never in my life do I recall my mother taking us to church, it was only when we lived with our grandmother, or later when I got…read more

Sacrificing the Black Sheep & Other Motherly Failures

Posted by in Articles & Rants, Motherhood Project, Writing

One of the hardest things to balance in a blended family is the treatment of your birth children versus your step children. While favoritism of birth children is a natural, if not inevitable, occurrence, it is often something we seek to deny in shame, hide in fear or eliminate completely. You often hear stepmothers saying they, “love them all the same.” But this isn’t true. Not in the least. We may “treat” them all the same, but there is something very unique and invisible, something inherent in the love that…read more

Stepmommy or Stepmonster: Part II – Broccoli & Other Evils

Posted by in Articles & Rants, Motherhood Project, Writing

If you troll the web, the various facebook groups and internet chat rooms for stepmothers you’ll find a wide range of brutal honesty, unbelievable ridicule, and a whole lot of self-righteous fluff and lies. There is a major taboo in this stepmothering business of ours. From the century-old evil stepmother persona we are labeled with to the incredulous and rather universal expectation that we must and will love and adore our darling stepchildren, may never ever speak an ill word of them, and we must be self sacrificial martyrs to…read more

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Journal: The View From Where I Sit

Posted by in Articles & Rants, Motherhood Project, Ten Minutes, Writing

I was spurred to go on a bike ride this afternoon. It’s the first I’ve taken to really go out and explore on my own since I got this bike a couple weeks ago. I traveled along the partially paved bike path until I ran out of paving. Traveled along wistfully, surrounded by half-woods, searching for something. Some special place to call my own. Some little cove to steal away to in the early morning hours and write. I was searching for an escape from my life. I imagine that’s…read more

Video: Reaching Your Writing Climax

Posted by in Articles & Rants, Motherhood Project, Ten Minutes, Writing

Once you get into the habit of writing you will eventually reach your writing climax, a plateau in your desire to write. How do nurture and maintain your passion and still manage a normal life? Does writing take precedence over housework? Child rearing? Spousal needs? Let’s explore that. #tenminutes This post is a part of the #tenminute challenge. To learn more visit: Ten Minute Challenge and join the movement!

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Journal: The Myth of Balance

Posted by in Articles & Rants, Motherhood Project, Ten Minutes, Writing

I got straight up out of bed this morning, went pee, then walked downstairs and sat down at the laptop. It’s probably not healthy, probably not balanced, buts it’s already after 9 o’clock and I should have been writing hours ago. I can tell you that balance is something I talk a lot about but have yet to achieve. Even in a single day, balance eludes me. I think a lot about this vision of a writer’s life. I know tons of writers have kids, and husbands, and homework, and…read more

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