I was blessed to discover and accept Islam when I was 19 years old. Up until that point, I had been a child, lazily exploring different faiths, but for the most part raised Christian. I dabbled in Buddhism, Wicca, Agnosticism, Atheism… I was trying to find my truth… but a sort of backdrop of my somewhat Christian upbringing was always there. (Side note: Never in my life do I recall my mother taking us to church, it was only when we lived with our grandmother, or later when I got…read more
One of the hardest things to balance in a blended family is the treatment of your birth children versus your step children. While favoritism of birth children is a natural, if not inevitable, occurrence, it is often something we seek to deny in shame, hide in fear or eliminate completely. You often hear stepmothers saying they, “love them all the same.” But this isn’t true. Not in the least. We may “treat” them all the same, but there is something very unique and invisible, something inherent in the love that…read more
If you troll the web, the various facebook groups and internet chat rooms for stepmothers you’ll find a wide range of brutal honesty, unbelievable ridicule, and a whole lot of self-righteous fluff and lies. There is a major taboo in this stepmothering business of ours. From the century-old evil stepmother persona we are labeled with to the incredulous and rather universal expectation that we must and will love and adore our darling stepchildren, may never ever speak an ill word of them, and we must be self sacrificial martyrs to…read more
I was spurred to go on a bike ride this afternoon. It’s the first I’ve taken to really go out and explore on my own since I got this bike a couple weeks ago. I traveled along the partially paved bike path until I ran out of paving. Traveled along wistfully, surrounded by half-woods, searching for something. Some special place to call my own. Some little cove to steal away to in the early morning hours and write. I was searching for an escape from my life. I imagine that’s…read more
I often fantasize about getting away from the city. It’s a longing for quiet inspiration, reconnecting with nature, and a place to reflect that has made me seriously consider moving my family out onto a farm. Granted, we don’t know anything of animal husbandry (that’s a word, right?), and our farming/gardening experience is minimal to say the least… but I love home repairs, refurbishing things, and above all… I love the quiet. And not that artificial soundproofed quiet, but the noisy quiet of nature. With cicadas chirping, birds squawking, the…read more
I recently got a bike. Its exciting, really. Its been a while since I’ve ridden a bike and, being that I don’t drive these days, a bike offers a whole new level of freedom and independence for me. I’m riding more and more frequently, as my behind gets used to the excruciating pain of riding for the first time in years (yes, I’m ordering a new seat), and hope to eventually explore new areas of Wichita, find new inspiration, and maybe even join some writers circles and workshops! Being homebound…read more
Once you get into the habit of writing you will eventually reach your writing climax, a plateau in your desire to write. How do nurture and maintain your passion and still manage a normal life? Does writing take precedence over housework? Child rearing? Spousal needs? Let’s explore that. #tenminutes This post is a part of the #tenminute challenge. To learn more visit: Ten Minute Challenge and join the movement!
As a part of the Ten Minute Challenge, I discuss the importance of reading to a developing writer. And the potential struggle between devoting your time to reading versus spending more time writing. This post is a part of the #tenminute challenge. To learn more visit: Ten Minute Challenge and join the movement!
I got straight up out of bed this morning, went pee, then walked downstairs and sat down at the laptop. It’s probably not healthy, probably not balanced, buts it’s already after 9 o’clock and I should have been writing hours ago. I can tell you that balance is something I talk a lot about but have yet to achieve. Even in a single day, balance eludes me. I think a lot about this vision of a writer’s life. I know tons of writers have kids, and husbands, and homework, and…read more
I woke up after a series of disorienting and wild dreams. Dreams with long bus routes going in the wrong direction, apartments with unfamiliar people, a strong sense of panic, confusion and loss. I woke up after dreams of my grandmother needing me to set up a shower and my failure to do something so simple… pipes leaking everywhere, failure and chaos. In reflecting now, that seemed to be the theme… an inability to do things right. Failure. I remember a boy who I loved, I remember saying I always…read more