Chorus of Blue

Free Write: Nothing of Consequence

Posted by in Motherhood Project, Poetry, Ten Minutes, Writing

The sun rises and the cat whines outside
I know his routine, but I choose to write.

There is a very long list of to-dos:
empty accounts, unpaid bills,
the responsibilities of parenthood
looming in soft little breaths
all around me.

Our home creaks for attention,
the subtle jingle of a ceiling fan
I need to fix,
pictures to hang,
that broken drawer…
most the food in boxes because I have yet
to line the cabinets,
sew bench cushions,
polish the floors.

And I know that he wants me,
The one slumbering
in the quiet of our room,
before blood flows like a barrier between us
And his desires are stalemated,
or frustrated
or lost.

But I decide to settle down to write.

Nothing of matter
Nothing of great consequence,
But the practice I will need to make it
matter someday.

The daily watering and reminder:

In your heart,
in your hands
                          is the seed of a writer,

(dishes, laundry, dinner, sex,
carpets, curtains, wall hooks,
plants, orders to fulfill, interest
to avoid, angry emails, lists, lists)

                                            help it grow.

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Free Write: The Rain Goes

Posted by in Poetry, Ten Minutes, Writing

The rain goes
I cant   don’t pause

boxes of books to unload
old journals that weep

hopelessness
bad marriages
children we love
but didn’t want

It feels like I’m reading
someone else’s words
this poor girl,
she’ll never get out

how little she knows of
life and faith
her flickers of hope
are only flickers

its a wonder I’m still alive.

here is a new life and
I’m unpacking the past
page by page
the ink bleeding through
the other side
i would burn it up
but I refuse to forget

these men take so much from us
but return so little
hurt, misery, betrayal, and loss
its been six years with another
God knows, that girl would know
he’s better, but even he
has trampled my heart.

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